September Wrap Up: Disappointment and Restart

Warning: this post is a major downer!!

I don't know about you, but boy, this month really flew by for me!

Overall September was kind of a rough month for me. I had two goals for this month, but kind of let them slip by...and as I sit here on the last day of the month and look back on the last 30 days I really can't believe I let myself do that. And more disappointingly, I've come to realize that I do this a lot. I make goals, realize they're challenging, and too quickly let myself off the hook. Procrastination at its worst.

Recently I've started seeing this cycle as self-medication rather than procrastination. I think if I'm to be honest with myself procrastination is too weak a word. Procrastination is when you delay doing the laundry until you have to dig through the hamper for semi-clean clothes that can be "refreshed" with perfume. Or when you only have fresh granny panties left to wear...

Putting off tasks because they're too hard and make you feel uncomfortable--that's really self-medication. When you ask addicts why they turned to their drug of choice, the common answer is to numb the pains of life, no? For me my drug of choice is the internet, mostly news and social/political analysis sites. While I am absorbing intelligent information, it is nevertheless self-medication.

Just to clarify, I totally understand my life could be much worse. However, we all have our own standards and expectations, and based on my own hopes for life I'm falling short.

Anyways, as October begins I am putting down on paper to restart myself.

I'm 24 years old and this month just kept thinking of those demographic check boxes for age. Usually the "young" group is 18-24. I'm at the end of that age range already! I know this is all arbitrary, but I guess this is a great wake up call for me. Better now than when I'm 30!

Anyways, sorry this was such a bleak post. On a Monday!

Here are five thought items that have occupied my mind this past month:

• Information Is Beautiful: This site visualizes ideas, issues, knowledge, and data in really beautiful and powerful ways.

• Lana Del Rey: Forever late to the party, I am a new fan.

• Hillary Clinton: I guess primarily due to the RNC declaring they would not allow CNN or NBC to air the next Republican Presidential Debate if they make a Hillary Clinton documentary, there was a lot Hillary 2016 hype recently. I won't go too much into my own political opinions (yet), but it's absolutely fascinating to see how passionately people feel about her.

• Obamacare: If you live in the U.S. and watch the news at least once in a while, there's no escaping the nonstop Obamacare talk now that the House Republicans have decided to try to pass a budget that does not fund Obamacare (which begins enrollment this October). It didn't occur to me how odd it is that health insurance is tied to employment until recently. Here is a Wall Street Journal article to answer this question. And I know this is a crazy long, but this video is pretty interesting to watch:

• Louis C.K.: While explaining why he hates cell phones and won't buy his kids cell phones ends up speaking about something much more profound and true.

I am ready for October!